Love is not Green.

September 10, 2010

Green with envy.

What does that even mean anyways?


“love does not envy” – 1 Cor 13:4

Love does not envy. What a weird concept about love.

One definition of envy is to long after, or to strongly desire.

We love within relationships with others, so I will talk about envy in the context of any kind of relationship. Whether that be with a lover, a friend, or a family member.

So I think it’s weird that in this set of descriptions in 1 Corinthians 13 it says that love doesn’t envy. I could see there being a command to us about general life telling us not to envy.  That makes sense to me.  But when talking to me about love, and telling me that love doesn’t envy is a little strange I think.

As I read through the verses last night, this phrase stood out to me. And I like it.

I think when we do envy in our relationships it is perhaps one of the most damaging things we could do.

Envy replaces love quickly in many of our relationships.

Even though this concept may seem peculiar, we see it all the time.

A person has a relationship with another person.  It could be anyone and any type of a relationship.  Then the first person in the relationship begins to look at other people or other relationships in particular.  Now this person that begins to look around at other people or other relationships and they notice something.  They see something they want in a relationship.  They see more love being given, or love being lived out better, or just something that they want in their own relationship that they are not experiencing or feeling that they aren’t getting.

Practically this looks like a wife seeing a different husband being more romantic then her own.  It looks like a child seeing another kid ask for a toy at the store and getting it.  Or it a friend seeing other sets of friends hanging out a lot, or posting a lot of things on facebook to their bff, and wanting those kinds of things with their own bff.

Some would tell you that it’s not bad to want things in a relationship. And I would agree.

I will also say though that if those wants turn into envy, it is not longer love being produced in the relationship, but something that shouldn’t be there.  I would go so far as to say it’s sin now instead of love.

When we bring envy into a relationship, we all of a sudden start putting the other person in the relationship into an unknown expectation in our minds. Or we hold them up to a check list we make make up. We now turn this relationship into something works based.

Love is not works based.  Love does not have condition in order to be worth giving out.  Not true love anyways.  And when love begins to envy, it makes a relationship works based. When love begins to envy in is no longer unconditional.

I believe that true love is unconditional.  Its not works based.  It’s not dependent upon performance.

When we envy, and take things we see from other relationships (probably out of context too) we destroy love.  We make love no longer love, but a selfish way of getting someone to please ourself.

Do you find yourself destroying relationships you have by envying other relationships or ideals?


One Response to “Love is not Green.”

  1. Patricia Pickard said

    Anthony, excellent blog! You have brought out some great points. And I know that the Lord gave them to you. Love, Grandmother

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