My biggest idol, looks an awful lot like me.

February 2, 2011

Have you ever talked with Mormon missionaries?

Yeah it’s crazy.  I love mormons to be honest.  How can’t you? They seem to be great people, they are all super friendly.  Their mothers are lovely, and make some good food.

But they believe some weird stuff about Jesus.

One of my youth’s from youth group, has been meeting with them and talking with them.  Now this youth is really solid, I have nothing to worry about with her.  I gave her some stuff and scripture to show them.  And then I offered to be with her during one of these meet ups.

Now honestly I was pumped.  I was prepared with all the apologetical answers I could have.  I was going in with heavy ammo. These Mormons were going to denounce their faith.

As I brought up all my objections, none of them worked.  These guys weren’t having it.  Either they would have a different answer, or sidetrack me, or believe in some truths I believed in too. It was tricky.

I soon became dejected and sad.  Sad for them, sad for their total unwillingness to scrutinize anything they believe. (and I know some person reading this will say I am the same way, but the problem is I can’t help but scrutinize what I believe.  I have books and study Bibles, that help me for all the instances my brain argues with something that orthodox Christianity believes.) And I think there were some things I was about to realize about myself was what made me sad too.

So as I became dejected and sad, I think I prayed that God would use Annette to speak to these missionaries, because obviously the things I was saying were not reasonable in their minds.

And then Annette (the girl from youth) asked a question fundamental to the Gospel.  Little did she know it was a leading question, a question that explained the true Gospel, the one where it is not by works we are saved, and that we can’t work our way to perfection because once we accept Christ he sees us as perfect.

And that’s when I began to realize my wrongdoing.  I came into the night thinking my own knowledge and cleverness would convince these guys.

Annette has been meeting with them out of her love for them.

Annette has not been deceived in the least by them, because of  her love for God.

I realized that for some reason God wants us to be his witnesses.  But that he is going to be the one to change people’s hearts. I knew this already.  But I was reminded of it.

I was humbled.

I also realized the biggest idol I worship and cater to.  His name is me.

I have this idol of thinking how awesome I am.  I let that idea motivate me.  I let that idea think it can convert people in my own power.

And anytime that idol is shown to be a false god, a god that can’t serve me well at all, I get wrecked.

Basically my failures at times makes this idol come crashing down and me a sad and dejected person.  That’s also what happened to me last night.

My little failures have more power over me then they should, because I idolize myself and my supposed awesomeness more than I should.

I thank God he used last night to humble me. I thank Him that I realized how much I idolize myself, and how much I cater to feeding the idea of how awesome I am.

The only thing that will stump people is the Gospel.  This beautiful idea that God did and does everything we need to have a relationship with Him. The only thing that will change people’s hearts is the Holy Spirit.

Jesus. Thank you for saving me. Thank you for showing me my huge idol of myself, and the implications of having that as an idol.   Help me to go into spiritual conversations wanting to share the Gospel out of love for God, or love for people.  And keep me from idolizing myself, and keep me worshipping you alone.


One Response to “My biggest idol, looks an awful lot like me.”

  1. Kelly/Mom ;) said

    All of your messages are gooood. This one, rises above – excellent and yes, awesome. Zeal – it’s a funny thing. But God, knows your heart and intent. I’m sure he is pleased with that. You are awesome and I love your boldness. God bless you and Annette. I hope the “pearls” prevail with this group. Love you!

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